i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
