How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You were trust falling into bushes
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
