So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
