the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
