i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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