I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
