We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
