Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
In America we eat man semen.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
