Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
They took my balls.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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