Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
