dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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