the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
