She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
