doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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