Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
