I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize