I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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