I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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