It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
