Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
