He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
