Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
