How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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