I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
