She announced her abortion via fbk
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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