I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
