also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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