I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
