I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
