question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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