Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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