Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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