This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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