dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
