Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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