Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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