no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
