I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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