The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
