wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize