Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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