I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
