Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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