We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
