Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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