So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
