literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize