i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
