Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
