GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
