I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize