dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
