i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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