so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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