You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
