Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
