4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
