So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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