May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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