I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
