KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
is it fun? or sober?
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