If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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