I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
