Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
