what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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