Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
