This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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