she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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