Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
