I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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